Had one of those moments. There are a few things that I absolutely love and one of those is my mother in law. Sounds crazy I know for a guy to love his mother in law but I do. Let me give you some history and background...
I am either loved or hated because of who I am. I have this way of making people do one or the other. At times I can be a jerk, be rough, lack tact, say things that I regret, do stupid stuff or be clueless and insensitive. Hey, that is just me, I am working at getting better at those things. You take some of those flaws and add cockiness and ADD DDDDDD DDDDD to it and a totally wild and free spirit and you have a unique person. Not many people ever really get to know me. Get to know what I am like on the inside. I guess I am just afraid of being hurt or let down and don't know if I can trust someone enough to let them in to see who I really am. So, many people just see the exterior that I described earlier and judge me based on that. Some people though, I could not help but let in. Some people my heart instantly connects with and I am compelled to share who I really am with them. Mary Lynn was one of them.
She is a single mom, divorced and raising two kids when I first met her. We were on a Missions trip to Mexico City. I didn't know a lot about her except that she a nurse or something like that. I did notice that she had a HOT daughter (Jessica, who I would later marry) and a very cool to hang out with son (Matt). I remember running out of clean clothes and she offered to do my laundry for me, no strings attached. This was great, I was out of clean clothes in Mexico and this nice lady offered to hook me up. I took her up on the offer and small talk ensued. That small talk with Mary Lynn then ended up with a late night talk with her daughter Jessica as we talked about life and everything under the sun. We instantly clicked and connected. There was an instant magnetic like connection between us and I could not help but be around her and talk to her.
Sounds great right? Well, there was just one problem. I was dating another girl at the time and that was the tricky part. Long story short, bad idea to stay up late talking with someone who is not your girlfriend and causing girl drama for the rest of the missions trip. (This is the Youth Pastor/ responsible adult coming out in me) So, the nice sweet lady who did my laundry left me on this note, "leave my daughter alone!" Point taken, but unfortunately I am a rebel and a rule breaker, so this was a challenge and it was on!
God orchestrated some events (and I probably helped) that let me to be single. So now, I could and would talk to the beautiful girl who belonged to the nice lady who did my laundry. I remember going over to Jessica's house after I had exited the other relationship and actually getting a chance to sit down and talk with her mom and brother. This would become a regular thing where I would drive what should take 30 minutes to see them in 15 because I could not wait to be able to sit around a table and talk. We shared and talked about everything. My relationship with Jessica sprouted into a beautiful friendship and the soft spoken women that opened her home to me made me want to open my heart to her.
Years progressed and a lot of things in life happened. I was off at Bible College and would come home to visit Jessica and to get a hug from her mom and maybe enjoy a long talk around their table from time to time. "I am praying for you and love you kiddo" she would always say along with, "you're so sweet, I just love ya so much". I had never had such love and encouragement from someone, it was always nice to see her.
I remember being in probably one of the worst spots in my life and not knowing what to do, I headed home. I went back to visit a familiar face that I had pushed out of my life and longed to just connect with someone who actually cared about me. I remember sneaking back into church to see Jessica one Sunday and Mary Lynn stopped me by the church office and asked me how I was doing. I remember not being able to look her in the eyes and telling her things were okay. "Eric, I have found that when you make a decision while you are in the crap, you will make a crappy decision". WOW, does she know how to speak to me! She invited me over for lunch and it was awesome as usual and we found ourselves sitting around her table talking again. This time it was more of me sharing about my life the past couple of years and I could feel myself start to cry as I talked about the hurts, bad choices, bumps and bruises I had had since our last talk. Then she grabbed my hand and told me how much she had been praying for me and loved me. I couldn't help that night to cry for the first time in a long time especially in front of other people because I knew she actually cared about me.
Jess and I connected again and our friendship was right back where we left off. The talks continued, the hugs continued and she continues to love me in spite of me sometimes. What an awesome individual who loves me for who I am and challenges me to be who I can become.
So that is the history behind her, man do I love her!!! Here is the story now...
It was just a regular day, my wife dropped me off here at the church like normal since we are down to one car. I had been doing a couple of things around the office and I was walking around outside when my phone rang. It was Jess and I thought, it would be a thinking of you and miss you phone call. We have AT&T so, its free to make those calls to other AT&T customers. I answered and didn't get a response, I said hello again and then amid all the crying I heard babe... Now she has my attention and now my heart is on pause, my ears are alert. Babe, I just got off the phone with my mom, and she has CANCER! I went numb... the lady that I love, the one who wanted God's best for me when I couldn't see it, the one who I opened my heart and life to... what I muttered. She got the results back from a test they did on a thing they thought was a cyst and it came back cancerous. I almost dropped my phone!
I called it an early day and went home to be with my wife and to comfort her. Mary Lynn was on the phone with Jess trying to comfort her as well. She is a strong woman and in the midst of all of this she is worried about Jess. Wow, what a tough cookie! I was driving home and on the radio came the song by Hillsong United- "Came to the Rescue" came on and it was if God said to me as I sped home. "Eric, do you love me?" Now, I am going to be honest, sometimes I hate these conversations with God because I am always stubborn at first. "Eric, do you love me? Yes God I do, You know I do!" "Do you trust me?" I guess I do, but I want to be selfish here Lord. I need her, no one loves me like she does!" "Eric, will you love me and trust me even if I take her?" "God, you know my heart, you know I will love you and serve you... You know that I love the gift that you have given me... what about Jess and Matt... what is going to happen to them?" "Do you trust me?" ... "God I trust you and love you and if this is what you want then so be it, I will love you and serve you still"
I have to say it is one of the most brutal yelling matches I have had with God. I saw in that moment how this beautiful lady who loved me unconditionally is mortal and if He chooses to take her home He can. If He chooses to let me enjoy that gift and let my kids enjoy that gift He can. I thanked God for every moment I had with her and looked at that relationship completely different from then on. I made it home in record time to hug and hold my wife as we cried together and both silently begged God selfishly for more of her.
We are currently awaiting test results which is just brutal in itself. She has already had a surgery to remove all the tissue around the cyst thing they found in her arm. I was so heartbroken that I could not afford to send my wife home to be with her. My wife and her mom have such a special and beautiful relationship. We will hopefully hear back soon as to what it specifically is because experts from around the country are debating over it. It looks like a rare form of cancer which happens to look almost identical to a non-cancerous type of tumor as well. So, we are praying like mad men that this is a non-cancerous tumor and all is well.
It is a day to day thing. My heart breaks because she is alone. Matt is off at college and Jess and I are up here in the North East trying to share Jesus with people up here. I wish that we could have her up here or that my wife could go back but, I know this is part of His plan. This is where "do you trust me" comes into play. No matter the outcome of this, I want everyone who reads this to know what an amazing woman Mary Lynn Davis is. She loves Jesus and serves Him and trusts Him like no one I have ever seen or heard of. She has raised two amazing kids by trusting God to provide and showing them God's love. Not perfect but pretty dang close! Swanney, I love you and I am so thankful you washed my clothes that day. My life has never been the same. Thank you for loving Jesus and reflecting that love towards me.
